Meant to Dance For God.

Whole Life ahead.
Friday, February 09, 2007

Today had to be the day.
was so stressed yesterday.
and many had spiritual attacks.
one of them was me.
something just crushed my faith,
my spirit.
and having your friend to tell you straight
to your face,
that church is a waste of time,
really hurt the deepest part of me.

i was really hurt.
and it that that moment,
i was in class,
so i had to hold back my tears.
but i knew that deep down inside,
i could barely contain the tears or sorrow.
right after that was Physics.
and it didn't help much.
had test.
and i didn't do well.
AT ALL.
completely didn't know anything.
so,
it was to add on to all the troubles.
and i could not contain my tears already.
so,
did something that i did not want to do.
break down.

i gave up on my test.
lay my head on the table,
and without realising,
tears just flowed from my eyes.
my teacher called me several times.
and he even gave me a hint to the answers.
but,
i just ignored him and continued,
to lay my head on the table.
and that was how bad it was.
my friends didn't know that i cried,
until my teacher left.

next period of PE.
didn't go for PE at all.
stayed in class to cool down.
everything that i was feeling,
just hit me.
and my mind was filled with thoughts
like,
why are things happening to me.
i can't do it.

and soon,
my english teacher,
Mr Phua,
came into the classroom,
wanting to write something on the whiteboard.
yeah,
so,
obviously he would see me sobbing.
and he asked me what happened.
he said that he was really shocked to see
me cry as i was always cheerful and smiling.
he also told me that i am a very strong girl.
after the many things that had happened,
it had never really brought me down.
until then of course.
he also explained the horror or seeing so many
people from my class cry.
especially the girls.
and encouraged me by saying that,
he had gone through the same thing before.
and that i have to also have faith in other things.
like my friends.
and learn to appreciate the friends around me.
no matter the number.
but just appreciating that i have a complete family.
a blessed home,
a blessed life which i can have true friends to be with.
not sure if he's a christian.
but yeah,
still thank God for him.
but whatever it is,
i'll still continue to keep that strong faith in God.
i won't give up on my friends.
not even death.
i sense that the reason i cried,
was because i felt what God felt.
i mean,
my church buddies.
how would you feel if someone were to tell you that
spending time with God was a waste of time?
obviously,
you would feel the same way i felt too.

as we all know,
today was the release of the O level results.
seen so many people cry.
people who do well,
did not get what they expected.
saw so many people cry.
but one that spoke to me the most.
someone,
whom i don't know.
i heard that he did not do well.

he cried the moment he got his results,
or way before.
couldn't remember.
and after he got his results,
he cried his eyes out.
but it still wasn't enough.
he wanted to jump off the school building.
only 2 stories down.
like what my friends say,
if you want to jump,
jump at a higher height.
at least 3 teachers had to hold him down.
he attempted to jump down many times.
but failed since it was IN SCHOOL.
yep.
people wonder,
how could a simple piece of paper destroy you,
from inside out?
O levels destroy you.
and that's why when you do well,
they are great testimonies.
it really had put me in a place where i don't want to be.
and that is,
imagining myself being like him.
i knew that the spiritual atmosphere had shifted in school.
never had i seen someone who wanted to end his life like that.
now,
all i can do is pray that he'll be alright.
that God would be with him.
protecting him,
watching every single step he took along the way.

let this affirm me.
that no matter what i do,
no matter what happens,
i will trust God with all my heart.
because he's the only one that i trust with my life.

-------------------------

Monday's AGM went rather well.
let me see.
or rather,
let you see what my speech was all about.

the part that really wanted to express how i felt,
was like this.

"Leading is a way of serving the people.
It’s not to make yourself feel good or more superior than others but,
taking that huge step,
daring to do what others may not dare or even want to do.
I once heard this from someone who had inspired me in many ways.
You can serve God,
without loving God.
BUT you cannot love God,
without serving him.
In that same context,
you can lead or serve without having the passion to do it.
However,
when you have the passion to serve,
the passion to lead,
you cannot stop yourself from doing it. "

yep..
teacher was pretty impressed with my speech.
and he asked me to repeat what i said twice.
he said that whatever i said nearly brought him to tears.
in top of that,
he said that my speech was the most well crafted.
not only did i capture his heart.
i captured the audience's hearts.
and daddy read my speech.
and used it to share on the topic,
Passion,
during Cell.
blessing in disguise.
and i thank God that i was able to
make God proud,
by showing that i am a christian.
all in all,
this speech was God led and God breathed.
and i thank God for that.

It's Y=MX+C tomorrow.
and i still believe that God will bring in the numbers.
i believe that there will be a MIGHTY HARVEST.
V day event would be great.
gonna be Deejay for it.
SUPPORT ME PEOPLE.
send in your SONG DEDICATIONS!
((;

danced for Christ.
5:35 PM

-----------------

Dancer for Christ.

Jump Around.

SOMEBODY.GET.YOUR.PRAISE.ON.

Credits

Whole Life ahead.
Friday, February 09, 2007

Dancer for Christ.

Jump Around.

SOMEBODY.GET.YOUR.PRAISE.ON.

Credits

Whole Life ahead. Friday, February 09, 2007

Whole Life ahead.
Friday, February 09, 2007