Meant to Dance For God.

+what lil'faith they have+
Monday, May 09, 2005

Grrrrrrrrrr.
i feel so angry and insulted.
the best thing is that,
my parents make me feel this way.
great.
just great.
i get insulted by my parents.
in which they would say,
i'm dumb.
i'm not street-smart.
i'm do not know what's happing in the world.
great.
they just love to make me cry.
arghhhh.

countless times i have cried because of my parents.
they just do not know how much damage they do to me
in the their speech and actions.
they think i'm running away from reality,
well, i've got one thing to say.
fine.
u just don't know me well enough to say that.
furthermore,
u just only know a small part of me.
talking seems to be the only thing
that happens between me and my parents.
we don't have that REAL fun,
neither do we at times have understanding.
they don't understand what i'm going through
even though i tell them.
they don't understand how i would feel in situations
which they pin me down and say i'm wrong in such
a horrible way.
they don't understand how i would react in the things
they do or experience.
well, fine.

I just feel so freaking angry.
angry that my parents would treat me as such
when i try to understand them
when they give me that face and say that
i do not.
well, fine.
like i said,
they only know a part of me.
a small part of me.
and it's not like i'm not trying to understand them.
they think i'm a still a lil'kid
and i do not understand the things that i say.
well, big news for them.
i DO understand.
i'm not dumb.
well, if u think i'm still a lil'kid,
that's an insult to them as well.
for the things they don't trust me about,
for the amount they know me,
for the amount i experience from the people around me.

although people say or ask,
" do you know your parents well enough then?"

well enough, maybe.
maybe not.
i don't deny the things they say.
i don't deny the way they feel.
and i don't deny myself knowing how it feels.
they might not know that what they do
affects me so much more than it affects them.
they do not know that my world crumbles each time
to see or hear them quarrel so violently
that i would lock myself up in the room
and cry myself to sleep.
i confide in God each time these happens
and he would just carry me in his arms
and let me sleep soundly.
he would build my world and my life
up again to ensure that i would continue the
next day normal and happy.
for that,
i thank God.
even for the lil'est thing he has
done for me.

i still cannot believe my ears
that my parents would only believe me
to a certain extend.
that would mean that they belittle me
and show how much faith they have in me.

God, please save me from feeling like this.
i don't blame you for anything i experience.
i just want to love you more and more each time,
to know that you will not hurt me
in which other people would.
God, hide me in your presence,
let me run to you,
where i know i'm safe.
that you will protect me
for the things that breaks my heart.

danced for Christ.
1:21 PM

-----------------

Dancer for Christ.

Jump Around.

SOMEBODY.GET.YOUR.PRAISE.ON.

Credits

+what lil'faith they have+
Monday, May 09, 2005

Dancer for Christ.

Jump Around.

SOMEBODY.GET.YOUR.PRAISE.ON.

Credits

+what lil'faith they have+ Monday, May 09, 2005

+what lil'faith they have+
Monday, May 09, 2005